On Sexual Freedom
On June 12, 2016 I woke up to two things. News of the murder of 49 people – mostly Latinx and people of colour – at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, and an e-mail asking me to write why sexual freedom is so important to me. It was almost funny to see two things back to back. Almost. What it really is in numbing. I am writing you this in the wake of a hate crime.
Today is june 25, 2016 and so far this year 12 transwomen of colour have been murdered. I am writing you this in the middle of an epidemic
I don’t need an entire article to tell you why sexual freedom matters – you can turn on any media and see for yourself: sexual freedom is a matter of life or death.
In moments like this, when I sit and reflect on the state of sexuality in North America I realize what actually matters to me is the fight for sexual freedom. That is why conferences like Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit are so important to me – I get to see people fighting for me. I get a reminder that I’m not alone and I’m not fighting alone.. And that gives me hope. And when you’re waging culture wars, hope is an incredibly necessary thing.
Part of the reason I do the work I do as a sexuality educator, agitator and coach is because I firmly believe that a deep acceptance of our sexuality is one of the most accessible paths to empowerment. Because sexuality is so deeply individual, it’s completely ours to explore, accept and integrate. Try as they might (and they will) people cannot take that from you. Our sexuality gives us what we crave as humans – and I don’t just mean the literal act of fucking. Our sexuality connects us to others, it gives us ways to create physical intimacy yes, but it also helps us find emotional intimacy with chosen family, our communities and ourselves. Sexuality helps us heal the deepest wounds and can bring us a euphoric joy that can’t even be describe until you experience it. And in a world where many of us do not experience power as individuals finding a personal sense of power is radical. It’s life saving. It’s world changing.
And that is worth hoping for. It’s worth fighting for. We are worth fighting for.
You are worth fighting for.
With solidarity and fierce love,